Defination of love

In this world, we see millions of poems, songs and novels are written about love as compare to any other topic.

So my friends questions rise "what is love?" and "How will we recognize it?". I think, in this universe two things are mystery for all of us. One  is god and other is love. So this is a  simple and complex question for all of us.

We can describe the love in both psychological way and biological way. In this article, i write about the definition of love in psychological way, such as "love is a set of attitudes, thoughts and idea besides the feelings". "Like other emotion, love is pleasant and unpleasant feelings. It leads to our behaviour to become silly, self-defending and  embarrassing".

Love is different types, but i am writing this blog only the explore of romantic love. So "the love is attraction and mature, adult love, which involves intimacy and commitment as well as passion between two persons".

One important things of love is the describe to be in the presence of a particular person, and only one wishes to be approved by that person, to care for and be cared for by that person. It is the desire to join physically with that person and to be intimate. And only one wishes to know all about that person. If these characteristics are present but are not intense, then this is called "like", not "love".

Love is different feeling and meaning for different people. Some people love means one is pleased by that person's physical  appearance and approves of his/her manner and way of talking. Some people love means thinks of future of meeting and what might happen in the meeting. They may fantasize about having sex with that person.

Love must beyond sex and passion, if it is mature. Everyone who loves must learn to respect his/her partner. He/she must identify her/his partner values. Everyone who loves are proud of their partner accomplishments and feel saddened by their partner disappointments.

When we want our relationship to go on forever, then trust is the important part of the relationship. When in our life, passion is less, then the relationship is end. When  love  is real, then it becomes a commitment to the partner. Love brings continuous increases the caring of our partner. We suffer, when love is reciprocated. These things are joy and pain of love.

Reference books:

1. Marvin Rosen, "The Brain and Love", Series of Brain works, Series Editor by: Eric H. Chudler, Chelsea House publishers, 2007
2. Allan and Barbara Pease, "Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love", Manjul Publishing House, Indian
3. Allan and Barbara Pease, "Why Men don't listen and Women Can't read map", Manjul Publishing House, Indian

The love

The word  love is a big mystery for all of us. This is one of the simple and also a complex questions for all of us.

Modern science say that men and women have different thought when it comes to the love.

According to David Buss, Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas and his team searched for proof of romantic love in 147 cultures. They found that the proof of love is only cave drawings, manuscripts, poems, songs and books.

Just like a coin, love is also two faces. When we talking about love, most of people see the positive side of love. They imagine staring into a lover's eyes, holding hand of each other, singing love songs and all other 'happy-ever-after' stuff.  But love also a horror able side. According to David Buss and his team found proof of love potions, love charms, love spells, suicide and murder motivated by love won or lost spread throughout our human history

Actually the love fills us with exhilaration, despair, fear, revenge all at the same time.

Every culture and every country we find the proof of love. It means romantic love is universal and there must be a biological function for it.

Modern science told that love is about specific chemical reaction in our specific area of the brain

In scientific term love is a combination of dopamine, oxytocin, testosterone, oestrogen and norepinephrine. 

When our brain has identified a suitable partner, then our brain produce the chemicals for necessary to create the environment to attract the person.

Love at First sight phenomenon:

Modern science is prove that love at first sight is have at most of animal species.

When we fall love at first sight, our brain produce huge amount of chemicals, such as dopamine, and norepinephrine.  The feeling of love almost same if a person use drugs. The same things is happen in other species also.

Reference books:

1. John Gray "Why Mars and Venus collide" HopperElement, London
2. Allan and Barbara Pease, "Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love", Manjul Publishing House, Indian
3. Allan and Barbara Pease, "Why Men don't listen and Women Can't read map", Manjul Publishing House, Indian

Life of women world

Love, communication, beauty and relationship is means women. Because they spend a lot of time for supporting, helping and nurturing each other. It means women is defined through their feeling and quality of their relationship.

Women liked living together in hormony, community, and loving coorperation. They think relationship is more important than work and technology. communication is most important part of their life. For her share their personal feeling is much important than achieving goals and success. And sharing and relating to each other is the only source to feel good about herself.

Women are inborn psychologist and very good counselor. So they are involved in personal growth, spirituality and everything that nuture the life, healing and growth.

They always pride themselves is being considerate of the needs and feeling of others. For women point of view a sign of good love is to offer help to another without being asked. when women care about someone, they, freely point out what can be improved and suggest how to do it. This is the way of showing her love and trying to help each other in the women world.

Women brain is organised for people and feeling. Her brain is programmed for "how-do-I-improve-the relationship?". So John gray the Author of men are from mars and women are from Venus" told that women are home improvement committee.

Reference Books:

1. John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", HopperCollins Publishers, India
2. John Gray "Men, Women and Relationship", 2nd edition, Hillsboro, OR:Beyond Word
3. Allan and Barbara Pease, "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps" Manjul Publishing House Pvt. Ltd., Bhopal, India.

Life of Men World

Power, competency, efficiency and achievement is means men. They always do the things to prove themselves. They want develop their power and skill. It means men is defined through his ability to achieve results.


They always likes outdoor activities, such as hunting, fishing, racing cars etc. They interested in the news, weather and sports rather than romantic novels and self help books. They always interest in object and things such as cars, faster computer, gadgets and new powerful technology rather than people and feelings. Why? Because these things can help them express the power by creating results and achieving their goals. Achieving goals is important for men because it is the only way his competence and feel good about himself.

He want to handle his problem on his own way. So man rarely talk about his problem. Why? Because his thought "Why i am involve someone, when i can do it by myself?" So he keep his problem to himself. His thought is "talking about the problem means showing your weakness". When he can't find a solution his problem then he want to require help from another person to find the solution. So he find someone he respects and then talking about his problem. It means talking about the problem is invitation for advice. Other men feel honoured by this opportunity and give some advice. This is the way of showing love and trying to help each other in the men world.


A men brain is organised to evolute and understand to evolute and understand things and objects, their relationship to each other in a spatial way, how it all works and solution of the problems. His brain is programmed for "how-do-I-fix-it?" or "How-do-I-fix-the problem?". So John Gray author of "men are from mars, women are from venus" written in his book men are called Mr.Fix.It.

Reference Books:

1. John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", HapperCollins Publishers, India (2008)
2. John Gary "Men, Women and relationship" 2nd edition, Hillsboro OR: Beyond Words (1993)
3. Allan and Barbara Pease, "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps" Manjul Publishing House Pvt. Ltd., Bhopal, India.

Men and Women are Different

Men and women are different, the only one is common in between them is they belongs to the same species. They think differently. They believe different things. So they both live in different world, with different values and different set of rules.

Over million of years men's and women's brain structure is continued to change their bodies and also their minds. So not only they communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need and appreciate differently.

If John Gray the author of " Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" says in his books "men and women are living in different plant, speaking different languages and needing different nourishment", is true.

If someone question " why man and women are different?", we can answer this complex question in many way. We can start the difference in biological difference, parental influence, education, the media, the history, and birth order to cultural conditioning by society. 

If scientists, doctor, psychologist and sociologist all say that men and women are not same, they are different. Then why government and other social organisation opinion men and women are equal? The answer is simple men and women are equal in political and moral issues but the difference is a scientific one. It means men and women must have equal opportunity to pursue their career path in any field they choose and got the equal opportunity for same effort.

At first we understand what is difference between difference and equality. Difference means men or women, we may not want to do the same thing. And equality means free to choose to do the things we want to do.


Reference Books:

1. John Gray "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", HapperCollins Publishers, India (2008)
2. John Gary "Men, Women and relationship" 2nd edition, Hillsboro OR: Beyond Words (1993)
3. Allan and Barbara Pease, "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps" Manjul Publishing House Pvt. Ltd., Bhopal, India.